I'm truly Thankful!!

picture taken last Thanksgiving 2012

On the eve of Thanksgiving I think about how truly thankful I am! As much as my kids drive me insane, make me cry, make my relationship even that more difficult with my husband, cause me to scream my head off sometimes and drive me to drink.... I'm truly thankful for them. They are sweet little turkeys and I can't imagine my life without them.

My son Andrew (28 months) said "I love you Mommy" for the first time tonight! Awe!!! Proud and truly thankful Mommy moment.

At the end of the day when you've had it up to here with them sometimes they always go and do something so sweet or cute like that. They make you laugh or cry tears of joy and you forget all the reasons why they've driven you insane the past 12 hours and you go to bed with love in your heart and memories in your mind that will truly last. That's the reward of parenting really!

I'm thankful my family is happy (for the most part) and healthy and that we have each other to lean on and ride this crazy roller coaster called LIFE! Be thankful for those whom you love and be sure to tell them that too!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

"Flipping my lid"

My kids are in a Co-op Preschool, called Crystal Springs Cooperative in Bothell. Andrew (2 yo) has been going there for two years now and Zach (1 yo) just started this year. They are in the same class for one day a week. We really enjoy it, it's something for us to get out and do on a weekly basis and it's learning and play for the kids as well as for me.

One of the perks of the school is our Parent Education Nights. They are once a month and usually about an hour or so of a speaker and so far I've been so impressed with the speakers. It's always been really educational and valuable topics for parents in my opinion and the speakers are always engaging and fun... the time just flies by!

The latest one on Thursday was a gal by the name of Sahara Pirie who is a Certified Positive Discipline Lead Trainer and does classes at the YMCA in Shoreline. 

One thing she discussed in her class was when we as parents "flip our lid". You can express this in a hand gesture. Close your fist with your thumb closed on the outside of your fingers. This represents the brain and all it's areas of function. When you "flip your lid" your finger pop out of that closed fist position so you are now making the letter "b" in sign language. That prefrontal cortex that is the regulation of body through autonomic nervous system, emotion regulation, regulation of interpersonal relationships, response flexibility, intuition, mind-sight - social cognition, self awareness - autonoesis, letting go of fears, morality.... is quite literally flipped and not able to function. IT'S TRUE!



So, as a parent when are kids are driving us nuts (or our husbands for that matter) whining and crying, asking over and over again to have something or do something, having a trantrum, fighting with their brother etc. etc. etc. And we've had ENOUGH! Our lids flip and we usually say something like..., "I can give you something to cry about." or "Go to your room until you can stop whining." or "I'm tired of hearing you scream and cry, I don't want to hear another peep out of you." Or maybe we go as far as swearing at them and it usually comes with a screaming/yelling/raised voice from us. This is flipping your lid and you cannot function rationally when your brain is in this state, you cannot resolve issues or be rational about things when this occurs.



It resonated so well with me because I've done it many times, probably once a day, some weeks better than others. I'm not proud of it, but kids have a way of pushing our buttons and my patience levels are not near what they should be. Patience is a virtue, that's for sure! So what should we do when our lids have boiled off the pot and we've made a mistake and screamed nasty things at our children?

• Regather: Make sure both of your have calmed down. Even if it means waiting.
• Recognize: "Whoops, I made a mistake"
• Responsibility: Acknowledge your part in the mistake.
• Reconcile/Resolve: (Re-Solve): "I'm sorry." "How can we work on this together to make it better?" (or some variation thereof)

I say sorry to my kids all the time and take responsibility for my mistakes. Its tough, but I feel like it's only appropriate. Some may see apologies as a sign of weakness, but I think it takes a lot of courage to admit you're wrong and even more courage to say it! My kids will know I'm not perfect and they will find comfort in the fact that they can make mistakes too and recover from them as a better person. Now only if I could work better on not "flipping my lid" in the first place I'd really be getting somewhere. :-)

I would definitely recommend checking her out, she was a great speaker with a lot of valuable information. Her next session (7 weeks, 1 x per week) of classes begins in January and is called Parenting With Positive Discipline and more information can be found HERE!

You can also purchase the book(s) here on Amazon.

I am SAHM

I started this blog because I thought it would a productive way for me to express myself through my "mother" eyes. As a stay at home Mom (SAHM) I often feel lonely, tired, confused, angry, elated, joyous, lost, happy, unappreciated, thankful, thankless... The list could go on and on and on! The point being I am often a roller coaster of emotions because being a SAHM is one of the hardest jobs I've ever had to do and there's a lot of pressure to get it right. The challenge of performing the rolls of several different hats each day can be extremely exhausting. Mother, Wife, Housekeeper, Accountant, Playgroup Captain etc. We are constantly switching focus and that focus is rarely on ourselves. I want an outlet to express not only the challenges of these "Home Hats," but to celebrate the joys too. I thought it would be a great way to capture life as a mother and I welcome you to join in on the conversation! With that said, I'm an opinionated person and I'm not afraid to put my two cents out there. You may not agree with me and that's okay, but let's keep things civilized and mature. I am open to engage in conversation and be a voice for however you need it, but I will not be attacked or assaulted for being myself. It's all good healthy conversation and remember... we are in this together! I named this blog My Name is SAHM for a couple of reasons: I am SAHM was taken (bummer, I liked that one). My name is really Tanya but growing up I always wished my name was Samantha, I loved how it could be shortened to SAM and I thought that was cool to have an unisex name. So calling the blog, My Name is SAHM seemed fitting enough. Sometime I feel like SAHM is my identity and that my real name or persona doesn't exist, therefore taking it on as my name in the blog seemed appropriate. I look forward to sharing my life with the world as I experience and see it. It might not always be pretty, but I'm sure we all can relate and I think it's refreshing to know that other people around you feel your struggles and can relate to them as their own. Life along with Motherhood are two of the most difficult things I've had to do, but I'm blessed to have them both and I strive each day to make them bearable, but more importantly... BETTER!